Where Have All the Footballs Gone? A Spoof

 James Cooke was a Longhorn manager from 1967-69. During those years, James committed one of the most heinous and felonious crimes in the history of college football. Now that the statute of limitations has expired, James admits that he stole the game ball used in the 1969 OU game. He said the football is “used” but still branded with “University of Texas.” He also confesses that there is a video he has concealed from the world showing the referee tossing the ball to Little Rail after Jack Mildred was tackled on the game's last play. James proudly says, “Texas was the home team in 1969, so I ran to the southeast corner of the field to make the “switch.” He justifies his theft years after the fact by saying, “I kept the game ball (it was no big deal back then)….. and I wanted it as a keepsake, not because I thought it had value to collectors. Nobody was collecting back then.”

If stealing the OU game ball is not bad enough, he also stole the ball used in the Navy game. After much detective work, I now know why James chose to risk his reputation and a life sentence in jail for his second felony for a football that he says has no economic value. James and Little Rail wanted to give the Navy ball to Jim Blaylock.

James is not alone. There are many trainers and managers who need to atone for their spiritually repugnant sins and criminally felonious acts. It is time for these thieves to purge their demonic ways by visiting the deep crevices of your closets and returning Texas football artifacts to their rightful owners. 😏 I agree with Billy Graham’s sermon to sinners when he said, Give back all those lost footballs borrowed through the decades back to UT so the Athletic department can sell them to the Longhorn donor class to fund a more functional and aesthetic T-room at the stadium.😏

Gary McIntosh is a long-time friend of mine going back to Odessa Permian days in 1965, but every time I see Gary McIntosh smile, I think the worst for many lost game footballs.

Worse than Gary is Juan Conde, who allegedly still has the 1969 Big Shootout Arkansas game ball in his possession.

I now call on Juan to return that ball to the University of Texas so it can reside in glory in the North End Zone with the rest of Longhorn sports history.

Some Managers have confessed to their sins, but most have not.

• Rodney Jackson says, “I still have a game ball from the 1981 UT-Aggie game.”

• James Michael Cave ( a man of the cloth, for Christ's sake) says, “I have a game ball from the ‘70 Arkansas game, a few jerseys & a helmet. I got Paul Robichau’s jersey but gave it to him (I had planned to do that). I also got the jerseys from the four starters (backfield) when we set the Conference record for most rushing yards in a game (611 yards). That was at the ‘69 SMU game. I'm not sure where they are (jerseys). May have given to the four. I can’t remember. Sheesh. It’s only been almost 50 years ago! When I sort through our storage unit, I plan to take all of that memorabilia & return it to UT. 😁 🤘🏻

• Jeff Crozier says, “My last year was 1977, and the statute of limitations hasn't run out on me yet.”

Juan Conde

Juan says, “Unfortunately, I do not have the 1969 Texas/Arkansas Shootout game 🏈 ball. As you recall, the weather in Arkansas on that particular day was miserable; it was cold, rainy, and some sleet. So I had to replace many wet footballs 🏈 with dry footballs. I placed the wet footballs in a duffle bag. So there were many games 🏈 used in the game. After the game, I took them to the locker room and placed them with the rest of the equipment. I never considered keeping a game ball, even though there were several. I was too excited about us winning the game. When we returned to Austin, Mr. Blaylock and I put all game equipment in the equipment room, including the wet game 🏈. That's the last I saw them. Now, I wish I had kept one.

Bill Little the Texas SID has accused Juan of confiscating the plaque President Nixon presented to Coach Royal in the locker room after the Arkansas game. In the photo to the right Juan is slithering in the back ground smile on face with eyes focused on the plague. What other evidence does the Longhorn Nation need? He is guilty of premeditated National Championship plague stealing.

Juan refutes this claim saying “I don’t have it.” Juan swears on all the Longhorn footballs he has stored in his closet that he overheard President Nixon tell Coach Royal since the plaque had not yet been engraved he was taking it back to Washington to have it engraved. Juan says That's the last time I saw the plaque” . “ And to think, of the twenty plus years I was the assistant equipment manager, I could have amassed many, many collectible items pertaining to Texas Longhorn 🏈 football, but unfortunately, I didn't. “ Juan needs to come clean and confess his lust of the plaque to Mike Cave.

Then there is David Anderson who has hidden from his beautiful family his crime against the Longhorn Nation. With total arrogance and pride in his words David flaunts his game ball felony with the comment " As for missing game balls, who knows where they are? UT had two 100+ yard rushers in the Rice game, both fullbacks. Roosevelt Leaks & Steve Fleming."

Roy Jones- I still say the best job I ever had was $4.25/hour working for UT🤘Football as a student equipment manager! It’s not the salary, but the experiences, lessons learned and the people you meet and learn with them with that make it special!That being said, I’m grateful for every opportunity and for dear friends, colleagues and of course the students and student/athletes that I get to work with! We’ve all got to start somewhere!! 🙏💪👏 Chris McComb